If only everyone understands how i feel.
Behind that happy guy lies a troubled person.
If only she understands how i feel.

I almost went to see the counsellor today, if not for meeting a ex-classmate, who advised me to take it easy, to be who i am.
Everyday, i wake up worried, i go to sleep worried. I do homework while worried, play judo while worried, cant pay attention in class cos im too worried. I feel like im losing touch with myself. I'm becoming dumb and dumber by the day. I'm becoming too vain, too obsessed with looks.
And all i want is just reassurance, from the only person who can provide it.

Everything just feels awkward. I dun dare to clarify. I'm the only person kept in the dark. And i'm the most worried.
People tell me to take it easy. But how to, when u feel u are gonna lose what u never treasured, when everything's too late.
I'm weird, yes i know.
I guess i matured mentally too late.

Frankly speaking, i once thot that just having a nice girlfriend will fill that void in my life. I guess many juniors think that way too. But now i realised, that no one can truly fill that emptiness, but only the one whom u truly love. But if its one-sided, what's the point.
I wonder if i even know the difference between love and infatuation.

I dun want her to do anything just to make me happy and not to hurt my feelings. I rather accept the scar and move on in life.

If only someone can enlighten me, cos i've become too dumb.